How to stop bullying yourself. Parenting tips for your inner child

Do you remember being a kid thinking you couldn’t wait to be a grown up?  Longing for the day when school would be over and no-one would be telling you when to go to bed or that you had to eat your greens.     Didn’t it all look like so much more fun from that height?

I distinctly remember the feeling of shock when I finally realized that growing up didn’t involve some magical moment of transformation.   The sheer disbelief that adults were actually just children who had become really, really old.  Admittedly, with some people it was harder to believe than others.

Yet the truth is that inside every grown up personality you’ll find an inner child, perfectly preserved.   The facets of our identity that were forged in our early years dictate much of how we operate in the world.

Whether we are conscious of them or not, our inner child has a lot to do with both our strengths and weaknesses.   For example, the amount of praise versus criticism you experienced as a child has a lot to do with your self-esteem as an adult.

Many people survive an emotionally abusive childhood only to grow up and continue to bully themselves with internalized negative messages.    Are you guilty of this?  Here’s a quick test, would you ever speak to a child the way you speak to yourself?

Regardless of how your childhood was, you can do a better job of parenting your inner child.  Here are some tips to start you off.

1)         Find safe people to comfort you when you are feeling little

2)        If you don’t have healthy relationships with your relatives, create family for yourself from friends

3)        Sleep is important, naps can change everything

4)        Don’t over-schedule yourself, start the day slowly and gently

5)        Schedule more play-dates for yourself

6)        Make time for art or music or other creative expression

7)        Structure is comforting, create routines that nurture you

8)        Too much sugar (or fill in the blank) is a bad idea

9)        Play outside – your inner child likes fresh air, rediscover your sense of adventure

10)      Be silly and laugh often

Get the idea?  How many more can you come up with?   Above all, be gentle with yourself.  Don’t make me come down there.