What should be on your Bucketlist?


iStock_000028643648_SmallI am contemplating mortality. Thinking and talking about Death is not a big thing in our consumer culture for a reason. It tends to take the shine right off that alluring new toy to ask yourself “Would I still want to buy that if I were dying?” Probably not. Things won’t make you happy.

It’s another of the #lessonsIlearnedfromthedying which one day may be in the book I am procrastinating about writing called “Don’t Wait for the Wake Up Call’. And yes, one of the lessons is about not procrastinating.

 You won’t find Quality of life on your Amazon wish list, it lies somewhere between your to do list and your bucket list.

Experiences on the other hand, have enduring value and in terms of return on investment: I can categorically confirm that when dying people look back on their lives it is what they did and not what they had and particularly experiences they shared with with other people that they appreciate.

Here are three questions.

  1. What is most important in your life?

  2. Where are you spending your money, time and attention?

  3. How different are these answers?

Whilst you can’t achieve Quality of Life through the acquisition of things, it’s only fair to point out that it’s not guaranteed through the purchase of experiences on your bucket list either.

Anytime that you are trying to get something, or get somewhere in order to feel something else in the future, you are missing out on living. Because life happens in the present.

Setting intentions to keep yourself on track is great but goals can be terrible things if they defer your happiness to a future you may not reach. What is guaranteed – and the only thing under your control – is the state of your mind.  How can you create more peace and find some joy in all moments, the ones that suck as well as the bucket list and greatest day of your life ones that are supposed to be perfect? It doesn’t have to cost any money at all. Using mindfulness and/or some kind of meditation or meditative practice that slows your mind down and brings you into your body in the present moment seems to help me. It doesn’t have to be sitting on a cushion for twenty minutes or saying Om.  It could be running on a treadmill, dancing, singing, gardening or coloring.    Anything that gets you back in the here and now.  For best results, to this recipe for a better life I would add two more essentials: Slow Down and Practice Gratitude.  Slow Down because everything is better when you slow down enough to breathe and appreciate it instead of walking around in a tornado of stress and adrenalin,   Practicing gratitude is probably the most important.  It actually generates happiness. You can also use it to find out which things you might want to get more of in your life and the results may not be obvious and may surprise you. Look for the people and activities that add quality to the every day bits of your life.  Make this a priority.  Selfish? Look at it this way, you are a nicer person to be around with a heck of a lot more to give when you are happy.

~

IMG_2003_wm