Living and Loving Fearlessly
“Life will break you.
Nobody can protect you from that,
and living alone won’t either,
for solitude will also break you with its yearning.
You have to love.
You have to feel.
It is the reason you are here on earth.
You are here to risk your heart.
You are here to be swallowed up.
And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near,
Let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps,
Wasting their sweetness.
Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
― Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP
Photo by Robert Sturman
Yesterday I found a new role mode, in an Elephant Journal article by Robert Sturman about The Guiness Book of Records reigning oldest living yoga teacher, 93 year old Tao Porchon Lynch. As impressive as her strength and flexibility are for someone of any age, let alone a nonagenarian, it is much more than her physical prowess that enchants me about this radiant being.
For not only does she love yoga, but also wine and dancing the tango.
In a interview with Tara Stiles-Parker, she credits her longevity and zest for living to proper breathing and making a concerted effort to think positive thoughts, along with a nightly shoulder stand before bed each night. She eschews fear and procrastination, simply doing the next right thing without delay.
She beams and twinkles with a light that simply dazzles me.
“Smile at everyone”
She advises as she illustrates the phenomenal magnetism of her charismatic charm.
This is how I want to live my life.
Waking up grateful for each new day,
thrilled by the prospect of all that I can learn,
all the wonderful places and beautiful people to be met,
making the most of the great gift of life
and blessing all I see with a smile.
How To Make Anything Better
©istockphoto/hh5800
Being in the business of helping people, it’s a little annoying that it always seems so much more difficult when I’m dealing with my own problems. Undoubtedly it’s all due to a lack of perspective and not being able to see the wood for the trees. Sometimes the answer we are so desperately seeking comes simply from being able to find the right questions. I’m grateful to have had a breakthrough tonight when I read this question from the fabulous Cheri Huber
“What do you have in your life and what do you exclude from your life in order to avoid discomfort?”
Cue major epiphany. Not so much because I answered the question but because, all of a sudden, I became aware of the way I was reacting to the problem. Inspiration came when I realized that a beautiful solution to this and every other problem might lie in simply changing the way I thought about the whole concept of having a problem. Back to Cheri here, who succinctly explains in The Key that there are Four Causes of Suffering:
- Not getting what you want
- Getting what you want and not being satisfied with it
- Having to endure the absence of those or that which you love
- Having to endure the presence to those or that which you do not love
The issue, in every case is that we don’t like that which we don’t like and that our reaction to experiencing discomfort or fearing that we are about to experience discomfort is to attempt to do just about anything to avoid it. The ego goes into over-drive in an all out attempt to control and change things. I think that actually having some tools and skills in the interpersonal realm can put one at a huge disadvantage here as the danger is that we can become consumed by the fallacy that if we just try harder or longer we can make it all better.
Some part of our brain is fixated on a series of irrational assertions centered in the flawed logic that insists that things should be different. That this version of reality is totally unacceptable. That if we were to take the unimaginable risk of accepting the way things are, nothing is going to change. That by taking a stand and refusing to accept the way things are, we have some possibility of changing them. Not so much. The truth is that there is one and only one thing within our control and that is how we think about things.
When it comes to reality, resistance is futile because resisting reality is really the problem.
And here is where the miracle comes in. When I am able to give up my attachment to the way I hoped, or dreamed or believed things should be, it actually comes as something of a relief, suffering is really exhausting.
There is a peace in the acceptance that comes from surrendering the impossible task of trying to control the universe. It’s even better when we entertain the concept that someone or something much better and bigger than us is actually in charge.
Here’s to serenity.
I have to stop going to the hardware store for milk
©istockphoto/sdominick
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein
Today I’d like to talk to you about getting unstuck from unhealthy situations in important relationships. I have heard it said that 99% of the solution to any problem is to become conscious of your behavior first. So I’d like to start by sharing a little exercise with you, for which you are going to need a pen and paper, I’ll pause a minute while you go find one…
Welcome back! To begin, on your piece of paper, write the numbers 1. 2. and 3. underneath each other.
First, what I would like you to do is to think of an important yet frustrating relationship in your life, could be a romantic one, or it could be with a parent or sibling or friend. Got it? Good. Now write the name of that person next to the number one.
Next, think about what it is that you most need and don’t get from that person – could be something like acceptance, affection, consideration, passion, commitment, sensitivity – you get the idea. When you have chosen that thing, write it next to the number two.
Finally, calculate how long you have been in this situation of not getting this important need met in your relationship – could be days, weeks, months or years. Write this answer next to number 3.
Now write this sentence on your piece of paper
I have to stop going to the hardware store for milk. I have been doing this for ten years now.
Crazy or what? You know how Albert Einstein defined insanity? See the top of this post again if you need a reminder.
Now, I am going to have you write the sentence again with some substutions for certain words. You see where this is going? OK, but no chickening out now.
It’s important that you see this written down.
Here we go,
I have to stop going to __(your answer to number 1)_ for __(insert your answer to number 2) I have been doing this for __(answer to number 3)__
Take a look at this sentence without guilt, shame or judgment. Just notice – with curiosity about what might be motivating you to keep up this – shall we say – level of optimism about this particular relationship. There has to be a reason that some part of your brain is telling you to keep showing up at the hardware store for milk. It’s probably not a rational part. It’s likely to be part of you that is totally stuck on the idea of How Things Ought To Be. It might well be a younger part of you that says with sad confusion,
But this person is my fill in the blank they are SUPPOSED to fill in the blank.
You might respond to this younger part of yourself kindly ’Yes they are sweetie. And they ought to and you deserve to have them do that. But… I’m a little worried about how much it hurts you to keep getting your feelings so hurt when you are disappointed.’
Just saying.
Always remember that the only person you have any hope of changing is you.
Take this piece of paper and stick it on your bathroom mirror for a month. Each time you brush your teeth, take a look at it and try to come up with some ideas of how you might try to do this differently. It doesn’t necessarily mean ending a relationship. But it might mean working on laying down the expectations you have of how things ought to be, so that you can have a little more peace about how they are.
Think about it. Ask yourself this question
If I could give up the belief that ******* should be ******** how would that change how I feel about the way things are?
Chances are if you didn’t have the expectation that this person should behave in a certain way – you wouldn’t be suffering when they don’t. Try this on for size. And let me know how it works for you. I’m going to be working on it right alongside you.
Let’s do this in three dimensions
Hello there,
How about we do this in three dimensions some time? I am booking individual and couple sessions in April at this time and have some limited availability for Skype sessions in March. Also, today I updated the Workshops and Seminars page so please click on over to check out the Spring workshop schedule which includes the Freedom Peace & Power one-day life-makeover workshop for people who want to give their healing, growth and living at their full potential a super boost and the highly successful Vive La Différence weekend workshop for couples interested in more relationship goodness and joy than they will know what to do with.
Hope to see you soon, even if it’s on Skype.
Mirabai
Productivity Schmoductivity: Being a grown-up is over-rated
©Allie Brosh
Productivity, Schmoductivity. Some days when I have been doing a little too much for a little too long, my inner child throws a tantrum and I am forced to take it easy, whether I want to or not.
So, today I invite you to de-stress, chill out and take it all a little less seriously with some wisdom and inspiration from Allie Brosh, at her most awesome blog-site - Hyperbole and a Half.
Check out her post This is Why I’ll never be a grown up and be gentle on yourself today!
My purpose is love
©istockphoto/Creativeye99
I had an amazing weekend facilitating the Vive La Différence Weekend for Couples with Bruce Gold. I am awed and humbled by the transformational power of love. It truly is the strongest medicine. This morning, one of the participants forwarded me an email she had received today which I would like to share with you along with a song – MC YOGI Give Love.
Daily Inspiration for Monday, February 27, 2012 from Renaissance Unity
Purpose
“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain:
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.”
~Emily Dickinson
Today’s Affirmation
My passion is freedom and my purpose is love.
Today’s Meditation
Dear God,
Your presence in my life is like a burning fire and a cool breeze.
Your truth pushes and cradles me.
I intend to be a better person today than I was yesterday.
With Your help, I passionately live my purpose.
With my help, You transform the world.
Thank You!
And so it is.
Amen
Today I hope that you feel connected to and inspired by your life’s purpose.
Life Lessons from a Dying Man
istockphoto/lindayolanda
I am not a pilot, brain-surgeon or rocket scientist. Nor am I planning the invasion of a small country, yet you could be forgiven for thinking so, judging by my ruthless obsession with increasing efficiency.
I am doing more things, more quickly than I even thought possible.
I am communicating with more people, faster and better than before.
I have de-cluttered and re-prioritized, systematized and categorized. I have mind maps and action plans, to do lists and tickler files, 43 folders and a 5 year plan.
Yet even as I am dizzied by my own super-human levels of productivity, I’ve started to feel that I am surviving more than thriving.
On the treadmill on Sunday as I dutifully clocked up my miles, I couldn’t help noticing that a large part of my life now closely resembles that of a plucky little hamster, sprinting gamely on its wheel.
Last week, I spent my Thursday afternoon at the bedside of a patient who was dying. I met this man in the last months of his life, when he was suffering from end stage Alzheimer’s disease.
He wasn’t the man he once was. Although he could no longer express himself, he communicated so much to me about who he was that truly inspired me.
When I would visit him in the nursing home at meal-times he didn’t recognize or remember me, yet without fail, as I sat down beside him he would pat my hand and say,
“Have you eaten?” and offer me the food from his own plate. When I would get up to leave, he would look with concern out the window, checking on the weather and to see if it was dark, telling me to be careful as I bid him goodbye.
On the last day we were alone together for several hours.
The stillness in the room descended like a heavy blanket of snow, pierced only by the sound of the oxygen machine and his breathing.
Time slowed down at last and I felt a shift in my perspective and perceptions about what had been so important and urgent before I sat down beside him.
I was holding his hand as he took his last breath and his heart beat its last.
Accompanying someone to the end of their life is an experience that never fails to humble you but something about this experience has really changed me.
On Sunday, I was invited to a gathering of his family and friends. The house was full of people, eating and laughing, celebrating a life well-lived.
Looking around, his daughter told me he would have loved this day. I sat down to look at a photo-album, eager to see glimpses of the man he had been.
As I turned the pages, looking at the photos of him playing with a grand-child or laughing at the helm of his boat in the Summer ocean, I saw confirmation of what I had felt intuitively; that this was a man who loved to spend time with his friends and family.
In this portrait of a life, I saw what was dear to him.
A man brimming with generosity, fun, kindness and love. A man who brightened the lives of all those around him.
A man who cared for, comforted and cherished those he loved.
I remembered that I knew what he had done for a living and yet what struck me most was this.
His glorious legacy was not what he had done but who he had been
I share this with you today to remind you to stop and smell the roses.
Tell those you love how you feel about them.
Be glad that you can.
Pause for a moment and imagine looking back on your life:
How will you view what seems so urgent and important today?
What to read when you’re on the edge
©istockphotp/dny59
Sweetheart, I’m so glad you reached out to me. I hear that you are hurting.
I’m so sorry that life is really hard right now.
I have time for you. How can I support you right now?
Where are you? Can you find somewhere quiet and safe that you can lie down on the ground?
Take a breath.
All the way in and all the way out.
Especially out.
Slower.
Deeper.
Again.
When you feel ready, become aware of the floor underneath you. Mother earth, holding you in the palm of her hand.
Let go, let her take your weight.
Relax. Feel everything soften as you sink in to the support of the earth beneath you.
Feel peace spreading inside you, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds.
When you feel ready, can you open your eyes and say hello to your toes?
Notice your feet, your legs and send them some appreciation for carrying you this far on your journey.
Take another breath.
Put one hand on your tummy and the other on your heart.
Can you feel your heart beating?
Let yourself notice the beat of your heart, the one constant thing that remains.
Be an empty beach at the end of the day,
The echoes of the childrens voices have faded away
and all that remains is the whisper of the surf,
As the waves go in and out, like the breath,
In and then out.
Bring your awareness to your face now.
Pay close attention
Can you feel the breath here? Going in and out.
Can you feel the warmth of your skin, radiating out in to the air?
Wait, listen, can you feel something else?
It’s the softness of a hundred butterfly kisses,
Tiny kisses of love and light.
From all the invisible loves that surround you.
Love now,
And love from before,
Love from ahead,
And love from beyond.
Feel it now. Open to this love and see it surround you,
Let it fill every cell and dry every tear.
Hear the celebration for every moment of your being,
Your strength and your courage, your big, beautiful heart.
You are safe, You are loved
You are safe, You are loved
Inspired by my best friend Lauren, who is always there when I get lost, with her timeless, patient, peaceful wisdom to guide me safely back to shore.
How to survive the most wonderful time of the year when it sucks
istockphoto.com© hartphotography1
Holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year but they can also be the most difficult. There is something about the message that this particular time should be full of joy that can create a lot more pressure for people who aren’t feeling particularly joyful for various reasons. One of the keys to getting through it is to remember that, in fact, you are not alone in feeling this way. Many people are suffering from sickness or depression, are dealing with being separated from loved ones, or coping with personal challenges or financial issues that are overwhelming.
Even if you are lucky enough to be surrounded by loved ones, ironically, this season of cheer and goodwill to all men is the time of year that families and couples fight the most. There is nothing quite like an extended period of time in an enclosed space with your nearest and dearest to push your biggest buttons and, when you add alcohol to the mix, things predictably go downhill.
Being single during the holidays is arguably worse than being part of a fighting couple: For some reason, being unwillingly single for the holidays sucks even more than on Valentine’s day, presumably because you at least have a fighting chance at ignoring the existence of the latter.
All this pales in comparison to how hard it is to get through the holidays when you are mourning a loved one. It is particularly painful, not just because it is a time full of memories, but because everywhere you turn, the message is that this is the time to be together with loved ones. The joy that the rest of the world seems to be experiencing can make those burdened by grief feel particularly isolated.
The most important survival skill at this time of year is to give yourself permission to have the feelings you are having. Stop telling yourself that you ought to be feeling differently just because the calendar is on this particular page. It is hard enough to deal with difficult feelings without heaping guilt and shame on top of them. Quit Should-ing yourself. Expectations are 99% of the cause of all suffering. Give up the expectation that you should be feeling or reacting any differently to the way that you are. At a minimum, accept that the reality is this is how you are feeling. Even better, show yourself a little compassion and respect the fact that if you had a choice, you wouldn’t choose to be feeling like this.
Step 2 is to imagine yourself as someone else that you care about and think about how you would treat them if they were feeling this way. Perhaps you would be a little more patient? Give them a break? Give them permission to curl up under the covers until they felt stronger? Everyone is unique and we all have different things that make us feel better – and crucially for some people, the most important thing is simply having permission not to feel better until we do. Sometimes it takes a heck of a lot more time and energy to try to stop yourself having a feeling than to let it run it’s course. Sometimes, little things can help a lot. Be brave and ask for help. If that’s too much or there doesn’t seem to be anyone available, come up with a short list of things you can do for yourself that might help. Maybe it’s going to the movies and escaping reality for a while, finding someone to talk to, getting some exercise, making yourself some nourishing food.
Step 3 is to remember that practicing gratitude can be a very helpful aid. Sometimes, even coming up with a list of things to be grateful for is a major challenge (click for a link to a post on some suggestions to get started). If that’s the case, try an appreciation list instead. When all seems lost, sometimes it helps to focus on appreciation for the things we have experienced, the ability to feel, the breath that still carries hope that there will be a better moment ahead. If these holidays are hard for you, I truly hope something here will be helpful. Please remember that you are not alone and that everything changes. This too shall pass, I promise. I wish you peace in your heart.
11/11/11
11/11/11 – Seems impossible not to mark this day in some way. How about Eleven things for which you are grateful, Eleven acts of kindness you can perform and Eleven luscious wishes just for you? Please post them here, if you feel so inclined, to share your inspiration. Much love, Mirabai
A Helluva Good Time
More and more, I find that I am receiving such inspiration about living from the people in my life who are dying. Many of the hospice patients I care for have end-stage Alzheimers and can no longer communicate directly, yet somehow, I am still blessed to receive the gift of their wisdom. Often, it is through talking to their loved ones. This week for example, I was met the husband of one of my patients on a visit to her at the nursing home. He was expressing how difficult it is, how much he misses his wife of over 50 years. The tragedy is how sad he is when he doesn’t see her and yet how hard it is to see her in her current condition, no longer able to recognize him.
It is hard for me to understand what it is like to slowly lose the partner with whom you have shared half a century of living. He tells me how happy they were, about how much fun they always had together throughout the years. He tells me how she would look for a chance to celebrate at every opportunity, even something small and is strikes me as such a powerfully inspiring message. This tiny bird like woman, with her beautifully braided hair, hands neatly folded into one another and eyes that see other worlds, is speaking to me today, showing me how to live in a better way.
You know what her saying was? Her husband tells me. She always used to say “Let’s go out and have a helluva good time!” Amen, sister.
How to avoid Death Bed Regrets
Guest Post by Lachlan Cotter, Personal Awesomeness Consultant.
I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately; I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life; To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived.
Henry David Thoreau
There are few things in life more piercing than receiving a diagnosis of terminal disease. While we all know, intellectually, that our time here on this Earth is limited; we still fumble our way through it as if it were a rehearsal. As if today is not the only day we ever have.
Sadly, many realise this only to discover there are all too few tomorrows remaining.
For some, the diagnosis is a wake up call. It teaches them to let go and to overcome; and their lives are forever transformed. For others, it is the beginning of the end.
It was Bronnie’s job to care for these people in the weeks leading up to their passing. She watched as they grew through the spectrum of emotions from denial to acceptance and found renewed connection and meaning with their families. And she learned of their greatest regrets.
While each of us walks a solitary road, there are themes that echo throughout the whole of humanity. Themes that colour our lives when viewed through the lens of retrospect. And according to Bronnie, the single most common regret, expressed by the dying, is this:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
My father died of cancer when I was 22 and he was 53. His battle with the disease was neither graceful nor accepting.
I like to think he found some sense of peace before the end. But if he did it can only have been in a morphine induced delirium, or the deep stasis of coma. Outwardly, he resisted and struggled against it until fate overtook him and he no longer had the strength or lucidity to fight it anymore.
He eventually became so emaciated and feeble that he was unable to carry himself from his bed to the bathroom; and required assistance to perform the most basic of bodily functions. His entire universe shrank to the size of a single room.
I can only imagine the heartbreak he must have endured. How resentful one must be at a life that promises so much and then cruelly snatches it away.
His anger and frustration and defeat… so bitter.
He stayed positive as best he could and put on a brave face for our benefit; but inside I think he must have been wrestling with some terrible fear and regret.
That he spent the majority of his adult years in a job he didn’t like to support a life that was less than he deserved.
His passions relegated to a weekend diversion.
His grand plans forever a distant dream.
Regret that his 25 year research project—his life’s greatest work—would never be completed.
That his dreams of artistic freedom and independent business would never be realised.
That he would reach the end, a humble, college teacher. Loved by those dear to him; but in many ways a stranger to them none the less.
He didn’t tell me this. He couldn’t. He was an intensely private man; not the sort that coped well with such difficult emotions or the vulnerability that such stark honesty tends to engender. So much of his inner world remained hidden away to the end; he took it to the hereafter.
As a younger man, he was an adventurer. Intrepid, overland traveller, philosopher, artist. But the man my mother fell in love with, I never really knew.
By the time I had the maturity to understand who he used to be he had become a shadow of his former self. Worn down by the burdens of responsibility and routine.
He had the courage to endure and to be selfless and to provide for the needs of a family through hard times. But, alas for him, he could not find the courage to give his own dreams the urgent attention they so richly deserved.
And so they never happened.
They died inside of him.
And when he was gone the thing I wept for most sorrowfully was not the loss of him, but the loss of every moment when I could have showed him more kindness or compassion or gratitude.
To watch a loved one waste away is agonising.
Yet the wasting of dreams is far, far worse.
Things my dad never got to do
- Wake up to a day totally free of worry and obligation
- Say what he was feeling
- Be his own man
- Indulge in his passions
- Go where the wind blew him
- Be selfish
- Taste the sweet air of a fresh beginning
- Watch his boys grow into men
- Hear the innocent laughter of his granddaughter
- If you can read this sentence, it’s not too late
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life”
Charles Dederich
What’s become of your grand designs? The image of the life you once imagined? Do you keep it at the center of your life? Are you moving towards it every day? Or has your purpose become subordinate to routine and survival?
Come closer, dear friend; I want to ask you a question.
What are you waiting for?
Think back on you life of 10 years ago. Does it seem like a distant memory? Or does it seem like the blink of an eye? Probably both at once. Funny how time does that. What you need to realise is: one day soon, today is going to look remarkably similar.
It took me a long time to realise what wise people had been saying my whole life: if it’s not happening now, it’s not happening. The path you’re on doesn’t lead to the life of your dreams unless you’re taking steps towards it today.
So why do you continue to stand in your own way?
What excuses are you using to justify your postponement of living?
What could be more important than living the life you were born for?
I thought so.
So put the most important things in life at the center of your life; not on the sidelines. Don’t make them things to get to someday, or to fit in around your routine obligations. Don’t think you have to follow the blueprint that was handed to you by someone else. Construct your life around what really matters.
Make a list of things that are most important to you.
Start at the top.
Orient your life towards the realisation of your dream.
How to create a bucket list that really lights your fire
Here’s what I’ve discovered.
It’s not actually having a bucket list that’s important. It’s making one. Yup. You heard right. If you’ve made your list properly you could throw it away and you’d still be well on the path to living the life of your dreams. In fact, making your list is really half the fun.
I don’t mean just going through the motions of writing down a bunch of fanciful, pie-in-the-sky dreams that you never intend to realise; paying lip-service to passion without actually feeling any. That’s not making a bucket list. That’s just another fidget.
No. To really make your list you need to go on an emotional journey. You need to feel the feelings you associate with living your dream for real. You need to feel it because that’s where real life actually happens—in your emotional world.
It’s in that moment of intense focus and intention that powerful dreams are birthed. The kind of dreams that will actually call you forward toward them and take over your life instead of becoming a death bed regret.
If your mental exertion is not palpable, you’re probably not in the zone.
When I created my list, I lived every moment. I used my feelings as the sole criteria in working out exactly what should go on it. And, I kept in short because I actually intend to do everything on it, starting yesterday.
Getting real about what you want
Who are you trying to impress?
Seriously.
Is your vision of a great life really your own? or did you inherit it from someone else?
Paul Graham wrote a great essay about doing what you love. In it he warns of the tendency young people have to be seduced away from their passions by the lures of money and prestige. He advises:
If you admire two kinds of work equally, but one is more prestigious, you should probably choose the other. Your opinions about what’s admirable are always going to be slightly influenced by prestige, so if the two seem equal to you, you probably have more genuine admiration for the less prestigious one.
Paul is one of those too-cleaver-for-his-own-good types. There’s wisdom here. But actually, you don’t have to resort to this kind of intellectual second guessing to work out what the right choices are: just listen to your heart.
Prestige is just another word for the approval of others. And when making your bucket list—or any decision for that matter—that needs to be the furthest thing from your mind.
I see so many lists that look like this:
- Earn a PhD.
- Learn seven languages.
- Bench press 100 Kg.
- Run a marathon.
- Sell a company for $1 million.
And other such variations on impressive or respectable personal achievements. I can understand why people do this. I was a prime offender. But if your list has items like this on it, I implore you to ask yourself why. Is it because you’re genuinely inspired by the experience? or are you doing it for the prestige? For the label?
When you’re creating your list, be selfish but not egotistical.
Write down the things that you really want.
Not the thing you think you should want.
Not the things that society says are best.
Not the things you want for somebody else.
Not the things you justify in terms of prestige or legacy.
The things that you really want for the intrinsic value of the experience. For the shear, childish fun of it.
Most importantly: write down actual experiences, not accolades or accomplishments. A bucket list is supposed to enthrall you in the rapture of living. Not be another to-do list. Another set of things to check off before you reach the deadline.
So long as your doing something for a future pay-off rather than the intrinsic reward, you’re not sucking the marrow out of life—you’re still postponing living.
Now… if the experience you want is discovering something that no other human being has thought before… if the experience you want is to emerse yourself in other cultures… if the experience you want is transcendence of your physical limitations… if the experience you want is to see the world through the eyes of God, then all power to you. But get to the heart of it, and be honest.
Indeed, once you do get to the heart of it, you’ll be able to come up with a much more compelling description of what you want to create.
Live it emotionally, and all will be clear.
The difference between a Bucket List and an Awesome List
A bucket list is for sucking the marrow out of life.
An awesome list is for pushing out the edges of the universe.
Marrow-sucking is important. A life lived fully is lived deeply. It is lived in the moment, and in the heart. And that is paramount. But when I created my list, I had some additional criteria:
I want to be more than I have been.
I want to expand my potential.
I don’t regard my list as a bunch of experiences I’d like to have before my time runs out. I regard it as a compelling statement of who I want to be. That’s why, in addition to being tremendous fun, I recommend you choose adventures which actually scare you. Things that are outside the boundaries of what you think you can accomplish.
They must be things you’re actually afraid of wanting because you’re not sure you could handle the getting of them.
Hence, the awesome list forces you to grow.
And when you grow, the potential for marrow-sucking is exponential to that growth. That’s why of all the thrilling adventures there are to choose among, I give highest priority to this select group which will force me to be more than I am. That’s how you change your world.
Some totally awesome bucket listers
If you’re looking for some inspiration in imagining a life less ordinary, check out this short list of adventurers. They are certified fire-lighters.
Jodi Sagorin
Jodi just might have the best darn bucket list I’ve ever seen. She certainly is a girl with a healthy disregard for the impossible; and it’s not just wishful thinking. She lives and breathes adventure. If you need a hand to give your dreams a kick-start, I recommend her Adventure Sessions.
Jenny Leonard
There’s only one word I can think of to describe Jenny: holy-fucking-wow. She’s the only person I know to have stood on an exploding volcano and lived to tell the tale (other than Frodo and Sam—but they had those giant Eagles). Anyway, I think if Jenny did go toe-to-toe with Sauron, she would totally kick his ass. Read more about her awesome, globetrotting adventures. Her bucket list is here.
Cody McKibben
When I grow up, I want to be just like Cody: hanging out with billionaires or kicking back with a bevy of Swedish beauties on some tropical beach. Cody’s a guy who decided to live life his way. His blog, Thrilling Heroics is packed with resources to help you do the same; awesome stuff. Here’s Cody’s amazing bucket list.
Joel Runyon
Joel’s list is primarily focused around finding ever more gruelling ways to push the limits of his cardiovascular system. But, beneath his tough, Tim-Ferriss-looking exterior, he’s one of the nicest guys you’re ever likely to meet. Check out his Impossible List if you’re into tests of physical endurance. And keep an eye out for Joel—some day you might see him in an ad for Lynx.
Celine
Celine’s 30 Before 30 list runs the gamut from world travel to burlesque dancing. What I love about Celine’s project is that it’s not a someday-list. It’s a right-now list. I’m hanging out for her to do her epic bungee jump from the Macau Tower.
Tyler Tervooren
Tyler kind of reminds me of Thoreau, what with that crazy moustache and his passionate damnation of the status quo. He’s on a mission to join the 1% Club, by doing the things that few people ever do. He writes about risk taking, uncertainty and freedom of mind on his popular blog, Advanced Riskology.
Think it’s time to make a bucket list of your own? Mirabai can help you with that.
Thanks to the Awesome Lachlan Cotter for this incredibly inspiring post – check him out here at The Art of Audacity.
